My husband

This is an email Matt sent to his co-workers one day after him and I met for lunch. I just thought it was too funny so I wanted to share.

Yes, I have come to realize I am a messy eater. It seems the task of eating cleanly has become something I cannot accomplish. I began to realize this within the last year or two and I also believe it is more of an adult onset messy eater syndrome as I do not recall having such problems in my younger days.

Today was an epic failure in regards to keeping the food in the mouth versus on the clothes.

Meatball Poboy, you defeated me today at lunch. Your meatballs seemed determined to escape the breaded home in which you should have remained. Every bite meant one of you would escape out the other end of the sandwich. Unbeknownst to me you stealthfully slithered down my chest, along my left shoulder, and down the same sleeve leaving a marinara mess. By the time I was aware of your attack the damage had been done and a dried up red trail was engrained into the fabric of my shirt and my entire being.

But alas! I shall have the last laugh in this battle of cleanliness. Oh sweet TIDE STICK to the rescue! Your efforts to disgrace and defile me have been turned away by the mighty tide stick. Tide Stick, your effectiveness in the face of your enemy shall not go unnoticed as I shall laud your good deeds to the masses.